Decisions, Decisions, Decisions
2023 Youth Sunday
by Ben Kirkman
My entire life, I have really hated making decisions. As a small child, even a decision as simple as choosing what toy to play with in a room full of toys was overwhelming.
Making decisions can be quick or take a long time, but I know that decisions are important in life no matter what they are, and we will be faced with decisions every day. It could be as simple as deciding what flavor of ice cream I’d like to order as a treat, or as difficult as letting go of something or someone I really love. Today I’d like to talk about some of the decisions that I’ve made in my life that helped make me who I am today.
I have been a part of this church my entire life, and being part of a church community means making lots of decisions. I had to decide about singing or playing music with the choir, what to say during Sunday School, what I believe about God, and deciding how to relate to the group of people around me as well as other people. The church has made me a better person by making me follow through with decisions I had to make.
One of the decisions that really made an impact on me was deciding to be part of the youth group at College Park. During my time with the youth group, I got to meet so many amazing people who helped me become who I am today, and I even make some lifelong friends who I can always talk to if I need to.
Some of my favorite memories from youth come from my first ever youth mission trip, AKA the Tarboro trip. Going on a mission trip was a hard decision to make because I had never been away from my family for a long period of time, but it sounded like a lot of fun. When I was on the trip getting ready to work every day, it was a great feeling knowing some of my efforts would help people who weren’t as fortunate as I was. This was also the trip that I decided I wanted to keep doing mission trips because not only did I get to learn about myself, but I also got to learn much more about the people who I normally only saw once a week on Sunday nights. Plus, I got to get absolutely filthy and occasionally got to demolish things, all for Jesus!
My experiences at College Park also played a role in my decision to become baptized. After years of wanting to do it, this year I finally got baptized and expressed to everyone how I felt about my number one homies – Jesus and God. Even though it took me a long time to make this decision, it was a great decision for me because I felt like I got closer to God and learned more about both me and my brother that day. While I don’t talk much during church and youth discussions, I like being part of them and have learned a lot from them. I guess I’m kind of like the silent observer that just takes it all in, only talking when it’s really important.
The main thing I have learned about making decisions is that you do your best to find the right path as you make decisions. In life, you run across lots of forks in the road, and I’m not just talking about the forks we put in Adam Team’s yard for a youth prank. Or the ones you make when you are driving, which also involves many decisions at the same time and has been challenging for me. Sometimes the right decisions don’t always seem clear in the moment. You are forced to choose a path at the forks in the road, whether you want to or not.
I believe that every step of the way, God has been with me and can help me understand something from those decisions – good or bad. Take the loss of 2 very important things in my life in 2020, on top off all the life disruptions from COVID. My dog Bandit, who lived to be 18.5 years old, and my grandmother, who was a big part of my life and had a very big heart, both died during that year. These losses were very hard for me to get through and it took me a while to move on. In some ways – I still haven’t. I think the ones we love somehow stay with us forever. But I had to make decisions on how I would respond to these losses and deal with everything else COVID brought.
During COVID, I had to make some decisions on who to stay connected with and how to do it. I also had to determine what felt comfortable to do around other people while keeping myself and my family safe. I also had to decide whether or not I would let anyone else win at four-square – our favorite family lockdown activity. It’s always good to be the king of four-square and I destroyed all who dared enter the Square of Four with me! Good thing I stayed humble though. During this time, I also needed to decide who my true friends were and who would be the people I would stay close to – even after the mess was over.
It’s especially tough to make decisions when you feel you are not on such a good path. You have to have faith that God is still leading you eventually on the correct path. However, I have decided that I need to keep moving forward with my life and try and choose the right path, versus not choosing any path at all. I like to think of it like this – you make decisions every day, some good, some bad, but you learn from all of them. At the end of the day, the decisions are yours to own and the actions you choose make you who you are. I face forward, because that is the direction we are all going anyway.
There isn’t such a thing as THE correct decision, well unless you’re taking a multiple-choice test of course. Ultimately the decisions and how you follow through with each one are up to you. God will always be there to help guide you through decisions, but He won’t necessarily show you the correct one – it’s for you to figure out. There are many good decisions yet to be made.
The Scripture today speaks to the importance of us taking care of God’s creation and everything in it. It is important to remember that our decisions make an impact on the earth and everything around us – good or bad. It’s like throwing a rock into a lake. The initial splash, which represents our decision, can create multiple ripples that go in lots of different and surprising directions. The decision of whether or not to pick up that piece of litter or to not to waste food on your plate can be an example to other people of being good stewards of this wonderful place God has created. In the psalm, it says that as humans we have “dominion over the works of your hands.” I think this means we have a very big responsibility for the earth as well as our decisions that challenge us daily. I am reminded of this every time I enjoy the view off a mountaintop after a long hike, or watching the sunset while playing bocce ball on the beach. While standing on that beach sand and staring at the ocean, I can feel both important and small at the same time. I think the weight of our decisions can sometimes feel the same way.
My most recent challenging decision was where to go to college after graduating high school. I was fortunate enough to get accepted in to all four schools to which I applied – but that also meant I had a huge decision to make. As I mentioned, this can be hard for me. I knew I wanted to study computer science and be in a place where I could do lots of new things and meet lots of new people. Did I want to be close to home or further away? What is the weather like? How did the campus feel? Were the dorms nice? Is there anywhere to get some good shrimp or sushi? There are so many things to think about, but I think I’ve made the right decision for me. Also, my parents are happy to not have a 3 hour drive one-way to visit me next year.
Throughout my journey of making a lot of tough and complicated decisions, there were people on whom I could rely to help guide me down the correct path. My parents have always pushed me to be the very best I can be, even when I struggled a lot. They have always believed in me even when times were hard. They helped me work through problems that could have really hurt who I am today if I didn’t listen to them. Often, I find I am too hard on myself and sometimes should give myself a break.
My brother has both challenged me and made me a better person – even when we both are being too loud talking with our friends while playing online games, or when we are arguing over who has to shower first. I also want to thank all my youth sponsors, preachers, child care workers, teachers, coaches, friends, and other family members for helping me learn new skills and to consider how my decisions impact both myself and others.
Another person I would like to mention is my private percussion instructor, Keith. He taught me a lot about music and to have confidence as a performer. There is a lot more to being a great percussion dude that just banging on a drum! He also taught me how I can focus to achieve difficult goals as well. I wasn’t sure originally about taking private lessons on top of school commitments, but am glad I decided to commit.
Finally, I have to mention that all of those hours watching TV and videos have actually been helpful at times. For those of you that only read lots of books, you don’t know what you’re missing! One TV character that comes to mind is Sensi Wu from the cartoon TV show Ninjago. He was a ninja master teaching 4 young ninjas how to control their powers and how to fix the problems they often created from their bad decisions. Yes, he was just a cartoon character, but I also see him as a mentor and someone who teaches complicated lessons throughout the adventures that his group faces, as well as a protector. We sometimes find life lessons in the oddest places, if we are open to it.
In summary, I know I will continue to face challenging decisions in my life. Because of my time at College Park growing up, I know as I face and make these decisions that the support of my God, my family, my church family, and my friends, that I will not be alone.
